Saturday, March 5, 2011

Six Sentence Sunday: Father's Embrace

Their's only one way a couple of wolves can easily carry the man shot by another man and seek aid. They've eaten from the corpse of a wolf-human, sister and daughter to them, to catch her illness.
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The tremors slammed into me before dusk, intensifying with the darkening shadows. Father grabbed me, knocked the paws out from under me and rubbed my forepaws, then my hindquarters as I spasmed. His strong fingers and angry grunts eased the intensity of bones elongating, skin stretching, and my tail pushing its way into my backside, making me yearn for ten bears mauling me instead.

In my father’s arms, I became a man.

He lifted me as I tried to straighten on all fours, and eased me upward onto two.

“You’re one ugly human, son.”


I'd like to say thanks for all the wonderful comments these past couple months. It's been a priviledge reading clips from so many fantastic authors. I havent been able to comment on all (sunday's my only day off the paying job), but it's been alot of fun trying.

21 comments:

Barbara Elsborg said...

Fantastic Arlene and what a great last line!!!! You sure know how to put a twist on a tail - pun intended!!!

heatherthurmeier said...

Wonder description! And the last line is a blast! Great snippet.

Sandra Sookoo said...

love the last line! It lightens the heaviness of the scene.

Dawne Prochilo said...

wasn't expecting that final line---lol

Chrystalla Thoma said...

What a gripping tale you're weaving, Arlene! I'm in awe.

Cate Masters said...

Wow, I could really feel that changeover. Gripping six. And yes, great way to lighten it.

Patricia Preston said...

Great 6 lines. Love the ending.

Sarah Grimm said...

Love the last line! Great six!

~Sarah

Keri Ford said...

Great! that last line is awesome!

Christine London said...

A bit of comic relief--well placed.

Jessica Subject said...

Fabulous! Last line finished it off well.

Laurie A. Green said...

Another great six, Arlene. The description of Rijo's agony was so real it made me wince.

And you already know how much I love the genius twist of this story--a werehuman tale told from the wolves' perspective. Awesome.

Lisa Fox said...

A really excellent snippet! Your writing so very vivid!

Lauri J Owen said...

Great snip - and I loved that last line!

Rebecca Royce said...

Oh god! Great last line!

Taryn Kincaid said...

Fabulous! So vivid and intense. And "You're one ugly human, son" is awesome. Breaks up the tension perfectly.

Casi said...

You do a great job of collapsing the pain into a little snippet. It makes it feel like the change goes faster.

Laura Kaye said...

Really vivid description of his transformation. And then, wham, that line of dialogue comes out of left field--cool.

Alanna Coca said...

Wow. Love that his first shift is to human. Nice twist.

Pippa Jay said...

Gee, thanks for that dad! :-P

Jayel Kaye said...

nice shift scene and I love the final line.