Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Whatsup, Creator?

Lyle Logan: “Why? Give me one reason I should believe this crap? I think, therefore I am. I don’t need some frickin’ deity to tell me—”

Arlene: “Yes, you do. Without me, you can’t form words. And, son, you will watch your mouth on this blog. Understand?”

Lyle: “No. I don’t understand a god@#$% thing. Because you’re bored, the sweetest guy on—where the @#$% am I? Cyberspace? Right. Anyway, my twin suffers a horrible death and it’s my fault?”

Sigh. “I’m not infallible.”

Lyle: “Just a self righteous, under worked florist who makes me hold the knife to the sacrificial goat.”

Arlene: “Idiot. Myles is a lamb, not a goat and if you’d called his lover, the cop still wouldn’t have been able to save either of you. Sorry.”

Lyle: “Screw you. Bring on hell. It’d have to beat listening to you.”

Arlene: “Myles, you there? Talk to your brother, will you?”

Myles: “Yes, God. What should I say?”

Lyle: “Hey, MyMy? Whaddya get when you cross a wimp with a puss?”

Myles: “I’m not a wuss, am I, God? But I am dead, right? Not a zombie who’s gonna eat Ren’s brains out.”

Sigh. “How many times does Lyle have to explain? No vamps, no zombies, you’re a sweetheart without a backbone. If I ask you to say no to the next predator who wants to jump you when Lyle’s not around to terrify them, can you do it?”

Myles: “Yes.”

Arlene: “A bisexual slut will remain true to one man?”

Myles: “Yes. I love Ren.”

Arlene: “You’re painting in the park. A lonely cougar eyes you. She asks you to carry her bags, walk her home, come in and step into her bedroom, what will you say?”

Myles: “Yes. Right? I mean, I’m strong and I like helping people. Can I ask you something?”

Lyle: “Give it up, God. He doesn’t have a safe word. Only one way to save him, leave me and mine alone. Stay the @#$% out of our business. Don’t you have flowers to sell? Paperwork to do? Other bastards to torment?”

Sigh. “Myles, you didn’t answer. Can you say no?”

Myles: “Yes.”

Sigh. “What’d you want to ask me, son?”

Myles: “Why vanilla? Can my favorite flavor be hard spicy mango, thick sweet pistachio, a threesome with chocolate and strawberry, so many lovely things. And, am I seriously D-E-A-D? Murdered in Vegas? Where—exactly—am I? Lyle can’t die too, but he also won’t leave me, right? It’s fact. We’re binary. Can’t be separated—or, I’d die. Where’s Ren? Am I a bad man? What happened to me?”

Sigh. Hey, I didnt post that cloud formation to start. Lyle Logan, I told you this is general audience blog....
Ashes. May 2010. MuseitHot

1 comment:

Barbara Elsborg said...

Oh lovely - I so adore assholes - not in a literal sense of course!!!