Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Whatsup, Creator?

Lyle Logan: “Why? Give me one reason I should believe this crap? I think, therefore I am. I don’t need some frickin’ deity to tell me—”

Arlene: “Yes, you do. Without me, you can’t form words. And, son, you will watch your mouth on this blog. Understand?”

Lyle: “No. I don’t understand a god@#$% thing. Because you’re bored, the sweetest guy on—where the @#$% am I? Cyberspace? Right. Anyway, my twin suffers a horrible death and it’s my fault?”

Sigh. “I’m not infallible.”

Lyle: “Just a self righteous, under worked florist who makes me hold the knife to the sacrificial goat.”

Arlene: “Idiot. Myles is a lamb, not a goat and if you’d called his lover, the cop still wouldn’t have been able to save either of you. Sorry.”

Lyle: “Screw you. Bring on hell. It’d have to beat listening to you.”

Arlene: “Myles, you there? Talk to your brother, will you?”

Myles: “Yes, God. What should I say?”

Lyle: “Hey, MyMy? Whaddya get when you cross a wimp with a puss?”

Myles: “I’m not a wuss, am I, God? But I am dead, right? Not a zombie who’s gonna eat Ren’s brains out.”

Sigh. “How many times does Lyle have to explain? No vamps, no zombies, you’re a sweetheart without a backbone. If I ask you to say no to the next predator who wants to jump you when Lyle’s not around to terrify them, can you do it?”

Myles: “Yes.”

Arlene: “A bisexual slut will remain true to one man?”

Myles: “Yes. I love Ren.”

Arlene: “You’re painting in the park. A lonely cougar eyes you. She asks you to carry her bags, walk her home, come in and step into her bedroom, what will you say?”

Myles: “Yes. Right? I mean, I’m strong and I like helping people. Can I ask you something?”

Lyle: “Give it up, God. He doesn’t have a safe word. Only one way to save him, leave me and mine alone. Stay the @#$% out of our business. Don’t you have flowers to sell? Paperwork to do? Other bastards to torment?”

Sigh. “Myles, you didn’t answer. Can you say no?”

Myles: “Yes.”

Sigh. “What’d you want to ask me, son?”

Myles: “Why vanilla? Can my favorite flavor be hard spicy mango, thick sweet pistachio, a threesome with chocolate and strawberry, so many lovely things. And, am I seriously D-E-A-D? Murdered in Vegas? Where—exactly—am I? Lyle can’t die too, but he also won’t leave me, right? It’s fact. We’re binary. Can’t be separated—or, I’d die. Where’s Ren? Am I a bad man? What happened to me?”

Sigh. Hey, I didnt post that cloud formation to start. Lyle Logan, I told you this is general audience blog....
Ashes. May 2010. MuseitHot

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Wanted: Condo on the Sun

Ten Reasons To Live On The Sun
By Myles Logan.
1) Too hot for most people. Housing would be cheap.
2) Too hot for broccoli. We’d have to live on ice cream.
3) Too hot for Dad. If he looks up, he’d put on sunglasses and never see us.
4) Too hot for Mom. She wouldn’t make it far before she needs a drink. I don’t think they sell vodka on Venus.
5) Too hot for church. No one will look for boys burning in the sun instead of hell.
6) Just right for fires. My brother holds the spotted dog. I sit on the fireman’s lap and steer the truck.
7) Just right for rockets to bring supplies. NASA doesn’t hire stupid people. They’d send the best books for my brother to read.
8) Just right for me. The earth revolves around the sun. I’d paint a different picture every day.
9) There’s really only one reason to leave earth. That’s number ten.
10) Mom and Dad could never never never touch my brother again.
My name is Myles Logan. I am eight years old. So is Lyle. He’s my twin and we’re moving on January 3rd.

ASHES. May 2011. MuseitUp