A drum roll from Jon Bonham (Led Zepplin)....
"It seems the lamest blogger of the year, some doofus named Arlene Webb has been awarded the creative writer...." Jon cocked his head. "What's that? Oh. My mistake. She's been awarded a creative liar award. There isn't anything these bloggers will do for attention, and she's giving away some prize that she conveniently doesnt say what. The rules are simple, so simple that no one understands them except drunken rock stars."
Jon Bon Jovi: "Did Jon Stewart call me a drunk? The bastard. Well, rules really are simple. You have to decide which one of seven statements is the truth. What's Josh Groban doing here?"
"Yeah, yeah, my first name isn't Jon, but I'm cute," said Josh. "Let's get to the statements, shall we? Then call the cops. One of the five friends she passed this chain thingee on to has undoubtably put a bullet in Arlene's skull, but no worries, I'll pick a winner."
1) Arlene is twenty-eight years old.
2) Arlene is a dumb blonde.
3) Pigs can fly.
4) Arlene's son loves to cook, mow the lawn, take out the garbage, he's a damn good kid.
5)Arlene once tried to clean her keyboard with a shop vac and sucked off half the keys.
6) Tor, Samhain, DDP and ten other publishers are in a bidding war for Arlene's latest novel.
7) Arlene loves chain letters.
Go ahead, comment, I dare you. Winners will be announced on Sunday, but only if you include an email with your comment. I mean, this contest is hard enough, right?
(Yes, the preceding closing was plagiarized directly from Kiki's blog.)
Oh yeah, Barbara Elsborg, Laurie Green, Dawn Jackson, Cate Masters and Rebecca Leigh are the next five victims, seeing as Kiki set the trend of four, not seven, I went with five. I think I'm supposed to post their links, but what the hell, maybe it'll end here? Their links are on my sidebar, and Dawn can be found at Backward Momentum.